Acid is not a monday night drug
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
