i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
