I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
