Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
