I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
