Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
