im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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