Your mouth is God's brothel.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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