I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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