one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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