And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
