my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
