Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
