Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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