I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
