i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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