I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
