We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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