Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
