what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
