Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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