Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We left the knife in your bed.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
