I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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