How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
