Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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