This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
