One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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