his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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