I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
