Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
