Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
