Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
