OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
