I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
