i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
