Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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