i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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