i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
