My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
