Non-Jews are for practice
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
