i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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