There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
