He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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