Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
