So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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