party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
