I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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