how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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