Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
