is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
